The authentic love
XVIII
Since the death of Chung; Madailéin life is no longer really a life. She saw the night darker than it really was, the moon appeared blurred. Her house was empty, dark and lifeless.
She leaned her back against the wall of her bedroom. Each day she hoped to see him, day after day, she only lived for that moment. She was tired, tired of living, tired of living without him. Her knees gave way and collapsed on the floor, curled up on herself, every breath that turns into a scream of despair, as if the pain that overflowed her heart and her soul, tried to escape from her .
She knocked the ground, pounding her fists until blood to finally make palpable and real, the pain of her soul.
It was a fact, it was reality. Chung was indeed dead.
She rose slowly, and sat on her bed in this room lifeless.
****
For months, Madailéin stopped laughing, hardly ate more, did not speak, could not sleep, no longer lived. But deep down, she felt that he was still there somewhere and that he would return. Only her heart could the saved her, from this nightmare.
She went to the park near her home. She sat on a bench away of glances.
And someone behind her, began to sing.
- I'll live, I'll stay. I'll be back another day... I'm next to you, I'm still in your life, I'll be back another day. Our love is undying.
She turned abruptly. Her heart was beating a hundred miles an hour. She had thought it was a dream, she don't believe it ... Yet he was there, it was him. It was him. And he was real ... She opened and closed her eyes several times.
- You did well not to die! I chose to return. said Chung.
Madailéin stepped back and stared him. He stood before her. She shivered of fright. How could he be there, she had seen him die. The pain of her soul, turning her into a form of madness which gave her strange visions? Or she was lost in a world that belonged to her, where Chung was alive?
She dropped her book and she ran. She was going mad.
- Madailéin! Wait!
He ran after her, to finally catch her.
- Leave me alone! shouted Madailéin.
- It's me! Madailéin, look at me! he said.
She looked up at him. She touched him with her forefinger. She stepped back upon seeing that he really was in front of her. She could not retain and she slapped him.
- Why you did this to me! I do not know what to believe. You let me fall apart, I forgot how to think, I forgot how to do to move forward. I'm in the dark. I saw you die!
Suddenly she remembered the word that he had written ... "I'll live, I'll stay. I'll be back another day... I'm next to you, I'm still in your life, I'll be back another day." He wrote, when he would sing this refrain is that he would return.
- I'm sorry, he said, I can not tell you for now, but ...
- I saw you die!
- No, you saw another die the one who would kill me. The hooded man who shot me, was Mori. The gun was loaded with white, so that each of the shooters could believe I was really dead.
- The ashes in the urn, they belonged to whom?
She thought of Mori by her side and he had comforted her. Mori's sentence when she threw the ashes in the garden. "Let's say he was absent for an indefinite period. " Mori knew it. And they make moral on treason, but that's what they did, they betrayed her.
- I've revenged you for nothing! she cried. I risked my life for you!
- No, you did not do it for nothing. This happened to me to doubt that you loved me, with what you have done ...
She slapped him again.
- You think if I did not love you, I risked my life for you?
She threw herself on him and beat him.
- Will you stop hitting me, shouted he, taking her by the wrists. It was almost laughable. She was angry, she was hitting him, but it's as if she did not want hitting him too hard.
- You deserve these beating! she said angrily.
- With what you did to these men, I should be afraid of you, "he said, smiling.
- Leave me alone! she said pushing him away. Why all this scene? Why you broke my heart like that?
She must not know, these words were repeated like a litany in his mind. His reason ends up having an advantage over his heart, the words refused to leave, the eyes imploring of Madailéin, were of no avail.
That it will end their relationship? He would not bear it.
With his right hand, it took Madailéin's chin, and looked up at him, he filed multiple kisses on her forehead, her eyelids pink, her rosy cheeks, descending occasionally into her neck and the beginning of her shoulders .
She felt his breath on her face, laying here and there with light kiss, as she would have wanted to know what he was hiding ... but she knew him all too well, he did say anything, preferring to shut her, giving his kisses.
He has had reason to her ... So she stayed between his arms so reassuring, savoring the moments, she gave herself to him, trusting to his kisses, his gentleness.
He continued to kiss her face, he felt badly for having done that, so bad. He wanted to protect her, as long as he could, and it was better not tell her anything. He thought, he could bear everything, alone. It was his duty. But she did what he should have done.
- Madailéin ... Tell me you love me forever, he said, looking at her, serious mine.
No answer.
And him ... he loved her? She does not want to know it, her mind was too confused by the events that had precipitated in recent weeks.
This silence increased his damn guilt. Chung's hand, went up along her back, holding her against him a noose was closing on her, for that she don't run away again. But she did not want to leave, she would have done, he knew it.
He did not want to do her that. He wished, that never she pushes him away. But it was for she that he had done it, although, it he had broken her heart.
He literally threw himself over her mouth in fits and starts, in maintaining contact during a few hugs, he drew back and he plunged it immediately.
She was trapped the arms of Chung, which embraces her body kept firmly to prevent her from leaving. Madailéin did not know if she was bad ... Not even if he was alive or even if she was not delusional. She stopped struggling, then she gave herself to the caress, of wild kiss of Chung.
He took a darkened brow, but a joyful thought had still managed to brighten up this gloomy picture.
- I was afraid not to relive the unique experience that I feel with you, far from You, devoid of any ability to feel, I do not want to end my life on a battlefield, in the midst of multiple corpses.
She put a finger on his lips to silence him.
- I do not ask you anything, she said with a gentleness, as him alone knew. If you promise to no longer abandon me.
They leave the Town, they left everything. They will not return. She had to drop her greatest friend, her mother ... The separation was heartbreaking, but it had to happen.
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Karole McDowell 2011 - (c) Reproduction is prohibited without permission from the author.
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