I am a heart and I am more than a rocky soil acid.

I am a heart and I am more than a rocky soil acid.

I find it difficult to achieve, I think I'm dreaming, and then all these people moving around me I can not see and m'anesthésient and leave me no time. Maybe one day my owner will want to cry, I wish, she let her tears flow, it's heavy for me!

Of course it is not required to have the punishment for crying, but the day comes, I want them to. It is true that I feel guilty that she does not cry.

I remember some years ago an event. Without wishing to be too bad, I finally told myself, I'll serve something! It was what she held dearest in the world! Not a tear. The people told her, she was strong and it hurt her and sometimes I felt bad. And the man she knew since age 17! Being the most expensive in her life, the essence of her life, not a tear.

I know everything about her I know she has huge hidden penalties. Let the curse stops. Even today, I feel she is in a parallel life. She becomes silent, she avoids people and is contained on itself.

Since her childhood, she has cried only twice and on both times, she had, no tears. But it is true that there was someone in the room with us that made me dance hard, I was scared. But in all serious events of her life that occurred thereafter, she never shed a single tear.

She talks to herself, I hear it, she wondered if this is normal. People close to her, say it often as it feels good to cry but can not.

If I understand my landlady, she sees herself as if she saw someone other than herself, but with indifference.

I do not dare tell him, but I think it is a defense process that works very well! The disadvantage is that she don't removes it.

Do not tell him, but you know like me, what she does for a living, everyday. Maybe not, but I know. She takes refuge in a "fantasy world", with all these people who scare me. I do not know how to say it? But that goes along with the distancing of felt.

It's hard for me not to come to understand, I hit a wall, or should I say a big wall! Sometimes I tell myself that it would be better if she was just a pebble. For me, am love and I love her. Yes of course I dance in joy and sorrow, happiness ... But what I want is that she frees me, because, one day, my dance will stop, I'll cease to move ...

Cheers,

Heart to take it or leave it.

Karole McDowell 1996-2010 - (c) Reproduction is prohibited without permission from the author.