Undying love - Chapter XXV

* UNDYING LOVE *

- XXV -

Never...

Sami had been gone for a week. No news, no phone call, as he was talking to Chung. No more news.

Chung slept against her. She had the stomach completely knotted. She changed the subject when Sami was mentioned in their conversations and she did not know whether Chung was aware of it.

She just wanted to keep her love with her a little, before to give effect to the decision she had taken. Just a little more time with him, for live sweet illusions, once again. She wanted to feel even against him, feel his heat, hear his breathing. She wanted to soak his being in her, as much as possible.

She looked at asleep and remembered the words that Sami had told her. Was this true or just pure malice, by jealousy. She did not know, she no longer knew. He really played a game? He really played with her feelings?

She had not taken this decision lightly. She had thought and rethought. She will tell him today. She wanted to get out of bed, but Chung grabbed him by the waist and held her close to him. He pressed it so hard, she had difficulty breathing.

How could he fake his feelings, while having too possessive gestures. How could he be so passionate in their privacy without the slightest flaw. She would have preferred to die in agony rather than to feel what she felt. But she had to do, to avoid destroying their friendship and especially to prevent from destroyed herself.

****

Madailéin was sitting in the kitchen and looked at Chung sitting in the living room front a football match on TV. He turned occasionally to make her his usual wink.

Her heart missed a beat when she got up, and she tried the words, to begin the conversation with dignity.

The right words.

And there was none word who came to her mind.

- Chung ... She began in a hoarse voice. She cleared her throat, heart ready to go out of her chest.

The truth ... Obvious to him, threatening to her.

- Yes ... he said coldly.

- I'd like to talk to you a little while before leaving. she said with tears in her voice.

- Where are you going? he asked. Let me watch this match and I will go with you, "he said.

The question that kills.

- No, Chung, she said.

He turned toward her, without really understanding what she had said. He got up and he joined her in the kitchen. Her throat pressed it. Madailéin who looked at him with sullenly, but nevertheless sketched a smile.

- I love you Chung, but I think it would be better if we took our distance for a while.

Silence settled.

He did not hear nothing.

- What? he said, looking Madailéin, as if hoping something it's style, I'm kidding, my love, as she sometimes did. But he saw her eyes and it was not a joke. I'll wake up. he added.

Instead of protesting, he is completely closed. He dared not even look at her.

- You have someone else, asked he.

- No

- So give me one good reason, he said.

- We're very different you and me. If you ended up having the pressure, and you decide to marry Zi, you thought of me, I do not play, I love you really. While (...)

He was livid with rage, she had never seen him like that and she could not blame him.

- And when you realized that we were different? This morning when you wake up?

- No, she said coldly.

- You know why at least? he said angrily.

- I thought before taking this decision, I thought about it for several days. How long do you think our relationship will last hidden? she said.

- But fuck! What's your problem? What is this crap with Zi wedding, I gave up this marriage for you! There must be something else, I do not think this is it. You hiding something, I know, I feel it, and you'll tell me what is it? Chung shouted.

The veins in his arms were swollen and his eyes were murderous.

- You can not go out of my life like that! said Chung.

He looked around, hoping for the impossible. That he wakes up.

- Damn, you piss me off! he shouted.

She turned to him bitter.

- All that should never have happened. she said.

- You can deepen? he said.

- Never I should accept your invitation. I would never have fallen in love with you! she said.

She saw his cheeks lose their color.

- Do you regret what we are today. You slept with him? he asked.

- Who? she said surprised.

- Sami. He made you advances while I was gone the other day? Ever since that day, I no longer see him.

- You're insinuating that I could sleep with him? But you hit hard on that. You do not have much respect for me.

He lowered his gaze, his words hurt him.

- Does he made you advances? He touched you? he asked with knives in their eyes.

- Chung, and this day, where have you been? Please, told me the truth, she said.

- I went to the store, that's all. he replied.

- You would not seen Zi? she said.

- Yes I saw her, but she was doing the disorder in my shop. I did not know it was her, until I arrived. And how do you know? he said.

- This is a person who kindly told me the truth to protect myself from you, that's all. And that person was not lying because you say you saw her! she said.

- To protect you from me? I do not go to see Z, I did not know she was there. He told me there was a problem and my new employee does not know her, otherwise nobody would have known. She would never set foot.

- We were not made to stay together, that's all. she said without emotion, or at least she tried not to make it seem.

- What happened was inevitable! Even Mai has always been convinced that we were meant for each other, and you can trust me, my sister is strong on tradition and she is against mixed couples.

She did not want, that he lost his best friend because of her.

She had to tear her heart in two ... And move away from the man she loves most in the world.

The air became stuck in his throat. He could not leave her. He did not want to leave her.

- And if it all over again, you would not do. asked he.

- No, she said coldly.

- If I had not been in love with you, I would have accepted.

- You give me knife wounds in the heart. But if that's what you really want, do it now, immediately. he says without look at her.

She left the house ...

She was left of his world.

Like that. Without a word.

He felt like a disjointed puppet. Madailéin, she was gone, he could not believe it.

And suddenly he wanted to break everything. Absolutely everything ...

*****

Madailéin is returned to the family home, an hour's drive from Chung. And she thought to go a month in Ireland to see some family members still living there. She had left everything. Her job at the library, her apartment, Chung. She wanted a change of decor, thinking that it would help her forget him, but it does not really succeed.

Eight days, she was in the house. A big empty house, her sister and cousin were gone to tour Europe or they wanted to stay in Italy. There were only two cousins who had come that weekend. She ate very little since she had left Chung.

She returned home in tears. Christopher and Allen, were there. She came up into her room, quickly.

****

May, Chung's sister, joined her on her cell phone.

- He has trashed everything in the house. You can not even imagine how he is. And I screamed on him, but he is not doing well. she said.

She explained everything, reason, Sami in the basement and her fears of being dumped as a tools thrown after use.

He wanted, her back home. But she did not listen.

- Give him a chance to talk to you.

She knew that sooner or later, she should talk to him. But she was not ready.

And above all, a part of her, she hoped he would be tired and he let her drop, he could forget her.

****

Maureen had planned an outing. For she could, changed ideas.

She seized his coat, she left and they went to the shopping center. Madailéin did not like shopping, but it was better than staying confined to ruminate.

When they arrived the shopping center, she saw his face and his eyes fixed on her. His legs began to move. He stopped before her, and she looked away. Maureen did not know what to say.

"How did he know where I was?" she told herself. She was a flash. Mai. She told him where she was.

Chung had the torment her, for that she told him.

- I must speak to you. said Chung. "Alone." he asked, looking at Maureen.

She retreated a few yards and he followed her. She refused to look at him.

Just to hear his voice and her heart was burning, she had a stomach ache to the point she was feeling nauseous.

- How are you? he asked in a worried voice.

She still refused to to look at him.

He grabbed her face in his hands, forcing her to look at him.

His touch made her ill, and the only real desire she had, was to throw herself into his arms and tighten him as hard as possible.

- How are you? he repeated.

- I am, ok? And you? she asked.

- No ...

- I'm sorry, she said.

She turned her back and walked with great strides towards Maureen, ending their conversation.

After several hours of shopping with Maureen, she was happy to have finally ended. They emerge from the shopping center and she was quickly overtaken, by Chung.

- You're still here, she asked, before he could say anything, without even stopping.

- Please Madailéin. I know you love me, he said with a trembling voice.

She quickened her step.

- You can not do this to us, Madailéin! You got no right! he said coldly.

She felt the seams, and she did not do before him.

- I must go away! At least that's what I think. she said.

She looked into his eyes this time, she wanted, he see her suffering.

Silence fell between them, he kept it, and it sounded like a sentence.

She gave a last glance, and left in walking, broken into pieces, shattered.

- I know for Sami, he shouted.

She turned abruptly. She advanced toward him.

- I'm glad you know it, she said coldly.

She turned and went on with Maureen.

This time, he did not follow her. And on returning home, all she does is shut herself in her room.

****

She had fallen asleep listening to music. She was surprised to hear voices.

Then footsteps on the stairs, and Maureen embarrassed, pushed open the door of her room.

- Madailéin? Chung is (...)

- How he knew where I was? she asked more than surprised.

There was a silence.

- I do not know, but he comes for you, Madailéin. You could make an effort, he is pitiful to see.

- He can go.

- He insists.

- He will get tired.

- I'm not so sure! Maureen said, eyebrows raised.

- Maureen, I do not want to see him! she said coldly.

- Your cousins will not let him pass. Don't worry, said Maureen.

****

The next day, Madailéin went out. She walked quietly, breathing in cold air, she was feeling well.

At the street corner, a shadow stood motionless. She looked up.

Her heart sank again, he was still there? "He is doing what, he's watching me night and day?" she thought.

Chung decided to walk with her. His presence at her side made her nervous.

To break this weighty silence, Chung seized his wrist, forcing him to meet his gaze.

- I will not let you win without fighting, I think you do not know who I am! he said before releasing his grip and disappear again.

She tried to ignore her feelings which begged her to come back to him.

She went to the park and sat on a bench, out of sight. Again, Chung had followed her. Her heart began to beat a little louder.

Without saying a word, he grabbed her arm, raised her up. She freed herself, both angry and worried.

- What are you doing here? she asked.

He gave a nervous laugh.

- It's over, Chung. There is nothing more to say. she said as coldly as possible.

He accused the shot visibly, deeply wounded.

It made her sick to see him like that. But she had no choice. Could she still be with him, knowing that his best friend was in love with her? Could she ignore at times that Sami would like to be alone with her, he would try to approach her? The answer was enough painful, but it was the best decision, and the answer was no.

He smiled sadly.

- I will file a complaint for mental abuse. he said loudly.

- Go ahead and I'll do one for harassment, she said coldly.

- I do not want you to leave me ... And you do not want either, I know.

She stopped, her heart on her lips.

- It's too late. This relationship is too complicated for me, and I do not like problems. And I do not know about you, even after a year, you refuse to talk to me, but me, I must tell you everything, she said.

There was a long pause.

- I confess. I did stupid things in my life, I have not always been the one you know now, but the greater truth of truths is that I'll never leave you. he cried.

- Yeah. The silliest thing you've ever done was to have been with me, she said.

She began to walk, but he forced her to look at him.

- No. he said.

She moved away, the heart split in two.

- Stop! Let me please.

- I have never regretted being with you, "he said.

- I do, she said.

She realized she had gone too far. His heart was broken, she perceived, just look at him in his eyes.

- Oh, really? And why? he asked.

- You know why, she said coldly.

- Yes, I know. Sami is in love with you. He told me, "he said.

- And did he say something else? He jumped on me in the basement while you were gone? she asked. He told you that? she shouted. You do not seem very affected for a man who says love me. she added by raising the voice.

He closed his eyes almost in slow motion. Images flashed through his head. He tensed and clenched fists.

She turned away and went back to her home.

But he did not give up, he followed her.

Her heart thumped heavily in her chest, but her reason it yelled not be fooled. Even if she came back, it would not change. She will always be an obstacle between him and Sami.

He grabbed her by the arm and turned her.

- Does he touch you? he asked.

- He kissed me, he has not gone further. she said.

- Does he touch you? he asked again.

- He kissed me, I just told you, he did not violate me, sorry to disappoint you. she said angrily.

- Is that why you left me? he asked.

- Chung, I am still a barrier between you and Sami. And your family does not accept me, except Mai.

- I do not care for them. I do not eat, I can not sleep, I no longer live since you're gone!

She confronted him, angry.

- I do not want you playing with my feelings! I don't want to be a toy for your friend, every time you leave me alone with him. You knew he had already tried to touch me and you left me alone with him. It tempts me not to make me drop like a tool after use, because you have to marry another, or another thing that I do not know. And I'm tired of hiding me. Now, I would rather stop everything. she said. An amusement, is hidden, and it is released when one wants. That's how I feel. But the truth is that I've never felt so belittled that with you!

- Do you realize what you throw me to face? You think I purposely leave you alone with him, that you used as a toy him? You really think I'm with you, and I pretend? You think that with all the efforts I made to talk to you, I pretend? he said with a voice filled with disappointment and sadness.

His mouth became deformed in a bitter grin.

- Then why you told me you loved me? he said.

- Because it is true. And believe me, I suffer. answered

Madailéin.

She did not look at him, but she felt his eyes devour her.

- I love you, Madailéin. he murmured.

- What did you say? she asked, surprised.

He shook his head with a nervous laugh.

- You know it? he said.

She stopped without warning.

She could not believe it, Chung could cry. His tears seemed to come so far, that this tore her.

She continued to walk, he was always on her heels.

- You told me we should take our distance, for a while.

They turned the street corner, and she took her keys and went up to her door.

- I will have ever finished with you, "he said.

She climbed the few steps and opened the door.

- It will take you to the idea, because that's precisely it. she said.

Without looking, she opened the door and went inside.

****

She wanted to believe that after their conversation, he would rather hurt and he would never return, he would be tired.

The same evening, the voices pulled her from her sleep. She plunged back into her sleep, until the dispute derives.

She left her room and her heart beat violently at the sight of Chung, who yell at each other with Christopher, who refused to let him up.

He looked up at her, and her throat tightened.

- Chung, go away, please, go away! she said coldly.

Christopher also raised his head, and Chung took the opportunity to rush up the stairs and climb the stairs two at. He grabbed her arm and led her into her room, closing the door behind them.

Blows rained down on her door. Christopher, without a doubt.

- Madailéin, you ok? he shouted from the other side.

They fixed in the eye.

- Get out of here. she cried.

He gave him a heavy look.

- I'm sorry, but no.

- I do not want to see you anymore. she said.

On the other side of the door, she heard Maureen. Christopher arrived to calm himself. She whispered a few words in which she understood "They need to talk"

"Treacherous" said Madailéin.

Then the silence returned.

- I want you back at home, over there's your place with me. Not here! he said coldly.

She turned back to him and looked at him coldly.

- You have no right to give me orders, we are not married, I will indicate this.

- You love me. he said.

- Yes, and I suffer enough. You can go.

- I will not leave. he said.

- You have no right to remain here without my consent. she said.

- Really? he said.

She thought she heard a smile in his voice.

- You think you have all rights over me? You got nerve! she said.

-I will not touch you if you do not want. But I have the right to do what I want to with my wife, and you owe me obedience, you know? he said with a wink.

His famous wink, she was losing her means to a time.

- And if I promise to think about it, would you leave? she asked.

- No, sorry. he said.

She walked toward her bedroom door and opened it.

- Madailéin ... he said.

- Good night, Chung, "she said coldly.

She descended the stairs, she was lie on the couch.

****

She felt, fingers stroking her cheek.

She woke up and looked painfully she crossed a dark look.

- Chung, she said softly.

His hand ventured into her neck, stroked the curve of her shoulder and his thumb touched her breast.

- I just want to sleep with you, "he murmured.

He sent her an intense look.

- All this leads us to do anything, "she said.

- I do not want to, that you leave me, I will never allow. he said. Look at me, Madailéin.

Without answering, she looked up to him.

His look sad.

She was transpierced.

- You really want me to go? he asked.

She took a long time to respond.

- Yes, "she said in a sweet lie.

- You want me to go out of your life? he asked.

- Yes.

Her response made him feel sick.

- So kiss me one last time and I'll go away and I'll back off. he said.

His lips began again to shake, and she shook her head from right to left, without looking at him.

He took a deep breath.

- I promise you. he said. You think I'm unable?

- It's pointless to do us harm. she said with tears in her voice.

He straightened her head. He gave her a kiss that burned her the inside.

- I will solve the problem of Sami, he whispered against her lips.

He let her, and went up the stairs.

The heart into a thousand pieces, she returned to her room.

He was preparing to leave, he had his coat on.

She approached him and without knowing what she did, she kissed him deeply, pressing her body trembling against his.

Then the cold reality returned her, and she broke away from him.

- You're killing me. he murmured.

She started to shake again, and for the first time since a very long time, tears rolled down her cheeks.

- Are you crying? he asked.

- You go away.

There was a long silence.

- It's what you want to. he said.

- I know ... she said.

- You really want me to go? he asked. You want me to stay?

- ...

- Then I go or I stay? ...

- Stay. she said with tears in her voice.

He sat on the edge of the bed. He took his head between his hands.

- I thought, what I told you, he said.

- What? she said.

- What Sami has done you wrong, and he will regret it, "he said.

- Violence does not help, she said.

- No, but it relieves, damn.

She shook her head.

He turned to her and she stiffened a little, dying to be pressed against him.

She took a deep breath. Her hand gently stroked his back, and she kissed his shoulder, seeking his taste on her tongue.

****

She awoke the next morning. She looked Chung beside her.

Chung was gone, as he had promised.

_________________________________

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Karole McDowell 2011 - (c) Reproduction is prohibited without permission from the author.